*This client wishes to remain anonymous
An Invercargill woman has led a turbulent life from drug addiction to abuse and violence, to almost losing custody of her children. But, she says, the massive hub of services at Ngā Kete and its wrap-around approach has enabled her to move forward, get sober, gain employment, and finally get on the right track.
I grew up with a handful of my 11 siblings, a mother who was a heavy IV drug user, and an abusive father who would often hit me, my siblings and my mother.
My parents split when I was 9 or 10 and I lived with Mum. She became an IV drug user after an incident during my birth left her with chronic pain syndrome. For the pain she was prescribed methadone and that quickly turned into an addiction that continued to worsen and progress.
I felt like I owed Mum because of her pain starting when she gave birth to me. I was also conceived by rape and I took all of that blame of my own shoulders. I felt it was all my fault and because of this I needed to look after her. She was a neglectful mother and drugs always came first, but I really do think she tried her best.
Her way of raising me was to let me do whatever I wanted, which at the time was great, but in hindsight it only made everything worse.
A few years ago my mother passed away from a drug overdose.
Throughout my teenage years I was drinking heavily and smoking weed. I would often get in trouble at school picking fights with other girls, but it escalated when I once went too far and I was charged with grievous bodily harm. The judge wanted to send me to Te Puna Wai, but instead I agreed to attend school properly and complete some courses.
Despite this, I continued to offend. I got into further trouble for more assaults, willful damage, stealing – just lots of dumb stuff. I also started selling drugs to put food on the table.
By the time I was 18 I was addicted to methamphetamine. At 22 I met my partner and, while we love each other, we were both heavy drug users with a turbulent relationship. I refused to stop using even while I was pregnant with all three of our children. I feel absolutely terrible about that now and I do everything I can to try and make up for it.
A couple of years ago my partner and I had an argument, which turned physical. I left the house and called the police to check on him because I was worried about his mental state. When police arrived they realised that he had assaulted me in front of the children and a referral was made to Oranga Tamariki.
We were told, during the Family Group Conference, that we needed to stop using drugs or we would lose our children. Around the same time one of my family members was also fighting for custody.
This was the massive wakeup call I needed and I knew we had to clean our act up. I love my children with all of my heart and the idea that they would be taken away from me was heartbreaking.
Oranga Tamariki led me to Ngā Kete. I was referred to the Tui Ora service where a Whānau Tautoko Practitioner supported me with everything that had happened with OT. She helped me to understand what was happening every step of the process, and kept us on track to ensure we could keep our children.
She then put a referral through to Tūmanako Oranga Wellness Centre where we started seeing a drug and alcohol counsellor and the Hiwa-i-te-rangi advocate. We also underwent detox with a nurse, which went really well as we were already two weeks clean by ourselves.
I started working through my childhood trauma with the counsellor and she on-referred me to an ACC counsellor, which has been a huge help. I see the ACC counsellor fortnightly now. The Hiwa-i-te-rangi counsellor helped me to start to heal and made me feel so comfortable.
The wellbeing and therapy facilitator helped with breathing exercises, and the advocate has helped a lot with goal settings and keeping me on track. She helped with my CV and employment – I am now working full time – and she helped me to get my license. We have also worked together on a wellness recovery action plan and safety plans. We have written down my triggers and the people who can help me when I am feeling those triggers, some coping mechanisms, and ways I can look after myself.
I was also referred to the BFC+ service and that is helping so much with paying off old debt and we are putting together weekly budgets, which has made life so much easier. We have done the parenting course and nutrition course through Tui Ora. The parenting course has really helped with our communication. We were on completely different pages in terms of how to parent and this has helped so much in that respect.
My partner and I are now in the best place we have ever been in. We are sober, communicating properly, and enjoying our lives together. I’m finally working through all of the past trauma and my triggers so I can stay on the right path.
Everything is more stable and settled now. The huge wrap-around service at Ngā Kete has meant everything to me. I didn’t realise all of this support was available. Without all of this, we probably wouldn’t have had the kids. I will be forever grateful.
