*This client wishes to remain anonymous
I was a “raging addict” with severe trust issues when I met the Hiwa-i-te-rangi Advocate. Having her in my corner as I transitioned to an addiction-free life has been one of the most surreal parts of my life.
Growing up I was often left to myself. My Mum was always working and my Dad was in and out of jail so I never had stability and I hung out on the streets with the boys a lot.
When I was a young teenager, maybe 12-years-old, I was doing dumb stuff all the time, like breaking into empty businesses, smoking weed and drinking alcohol.
When I wasn’t out on the streets I’d be with my Nana. She would take my cousins and I to the pub and we would have to wait in the car all day while she was playing the pokies. She’d give us $3 each for the day.
I left school at 14 and started drinking alcohol more often. I was drunk a lot. When I turned 17 I got pregnant to a violent man who would often beat me towards the brink of death, but I was naïve then and I thought that was his way of showing me he loved me.
At 19, I finally had enough and I left him. I honestly thought afterwards that he would try and kill me or have someone do it for him, and I went through a lot of anxiety.
Later on I had another child but the father and I didn’t stay together.
When my second child was around eight months old I found out what methamphetamine was. I would have been about 22-years-old then. I knew I was becoming addicted and, before I got too deep into it, I asked my mother to look after my children.
I spent the next five years addicted to meth.
The fast-paced lifestyle attracted me because it meant I had no time to stop and actually think about anything, but the longer I stayed in it the less appealing it became. I couldn’t go a day without it and then I started selling it to fund my own habit, which I knew was a dangerous slippery slope.
Last year I decided I’d had enough. I wanted to live a normal, structured life for the first time.
I self-referred to the Hiwa-i-te-rangi service at Ngā Kete Mātauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust. I remember the first time I met the advocate, I was so high I was shaking. I barely remember what I said to her, but the second time I met her I knew I had done the right thing.
Her support has meant the world to me. She supported me in every way as I transitioned from the meth life to my new life, living with my Mum and children.
She slowly started to build my confidence up and would push my boundaries in a way I so desperately needed. She would look things up for me because I didn’t know how, and she showed me tons of study options. She even taught me how to cook some things!
Her support has kept me on track and I know that without her I would have gone right back to my old life, because it would have been so much easier.
Having her in my corner has been one of the most surreal parts of my life. To be able to tell her anything without feeling judged ... well I’ve never had that before. Not with anyone.
She has been a saviour for me.
The Hiwa-i-te-rangi counsellor also supported me and kept me on track to stay away from methamphetamine.
I have now been referred to the Pūrerehua Programme and the kaimahi has been equally supportive. She has helped me to book in for my restricted license, which I am sitting soon, and with her support I am working towards getting my own car, completing some study and eventually travel with my children. It is amazing to have some goals in place!
I am in a great place now. I appreciate life so much more, especially the little things, and I am so grateful for the amazing support I have had along the way.
